Holly, your work (HOME podcast specifically) helped me get sober from marijuana addiction. I am forever grateful. One statement you wrote made me want to write here, “There’s a kind of limit on the type of acute damage you can do using pot”- I hope you never see what the depths of weed addiction can actually do to a life. I was locked in…
Holly, your work (HOME podcast specifically) helped me get sober from marijuana addiction. I am forever grateful. One statement you wrote made me want to write here, “There’s a kind of limit on the type of acute damage you can do using pot”- I hope you never see what the depths of weed addiction can actually do to a life. I was locked in it for 22 years. You helped me climb out. I will never stop being grateful to you and most especially for your truth telling. I believe long term recovery is a true return to self, I honor your finding your way home to you. For anyone who might need it after reading this piece from Holly, I’ve written a three part piece on Marijuana Addiction, called “slow drain”. It’s on my Substack page.
Yeah that’s a tricky line and I meant it more in the overdose sense (I meant to contextualize it against using something like opioids again which is very different in terms of risk after a period of abstinence). I agree with your point and the insidious nature of cud which is qualitatively different and in its own ways (IMO!) more insidious than some other substances bc it’s “just pot” and now you can use it basically 24x7 in ever expanding delivery forms that disable you. I look forward to reading what you have and please feel free to link them here
Thanks so much Tracey for such a powerful and vulnerable piece on marijuana addiction. I was 12 and a half years alcohol and THC sober when chronic nerve pain arrived in my . After trying many prescription meds without any relief I read an article in the Oprah magazine about how weed could be helpful for nerve pain.
Although I knew pot was something that was always a part of my pre-sober partying lifestyle, I reasoned that alcohol was really my main drug of choice and that giving pot a try for this unrelenting nerve pain was worth the risk. Although it did help with the nerve pain, I noticed pretty early on that I wanted to smoke even when I wasn't in pain. It then became a daily thing. Since pot seemed so benign compared to my alcohol addiction, I just continued to use and became a all day everyday smoker. The first month or so was fun in that I was getting the highs where you could really drop into that state of loving what you were seeing, hearing , tasting and feeling. But within a month or two the highs were very infrequent and pot just became something that I had to do all day everyday even though I really didn't get much out of it. I describe it as a slow-moving cancer. One thing I noticed right away was it robbed me of even an ounce of ambition. At the time I was starting to write my book "It's Not About Food, Drugs, or Alcohol: It's About Healing Complex PTSD" which is part Memoir part science-based research and part healing guide. Here's a link if you want to check it out.
I knew there was no way that my book would ever see the light of day if I continued smoking.
All I can say is I'm glad I finally found a way to quit and was able to publish my book and am really proud that I was able to do so.
In fact I write an entire chapter about my experience with chronic pain and my journey with medical marijuana in it.
As I responded to Holly's post, I really, like really wanted to be able to smoke recreationally and worked with harm reduction specialists to be able to do so without success.
Although the harm reduction practitioner I worked with did help me let go of a lot of my shame I had over my pot use and I was able to reduce the amount I was smoking, I still couldn't get anything done.
After about a year of daily use without even being able to get high, I fell into a depression and knew that this path was not going to be sustainable for me.
I ended up hearing about neurofeedback being a way to regulate my nervous system so I wouldn't feel compelled to use pot to do it.
Miraculously it really reduced my cravings and within a month I was able to quit with relative ease.
This experience proved to me that I was medicating a chronically dysregulated nervous system due to unhealed trauma.
I wish I could say that I have been free from marijuana addiction since but after the end of two long-term relationships I did end up getting back into smoking and thankfully have been able to quit.
Marijuana has been a very slippery slope for me. Interestingly when I used to drink I never smoked as much as I did as when I started using after 12 and a half years of being totally sober.
I do give myself a lot of space and compassion to be my perfectly imperfect self, yet I also recognize that if I want to have a life worth living I can't give myself a pass to blow my life up with pot or any other substance .
It's so sad to me that the myth that pot is not addictive and that it's relatively benign is so prevalent in our culture.
From the research I've done one in 10 people will develop a marijuana use disorder. Before I did the research for my book I had no idea how marijuana has pretty much the same risk in terms of addiction is alcohol. Although it's side effects are not nearly as destructive, in many ways this less destructive aspect is what makes it so Insidious keep people using it.
Although I really wish I could have become a social user, it's just not in the cards for me. It says if I don't have a off button when it comes to pot or alcohol. And just knowing that is really helpful.
So thank you for your wonderful article on a topic that is woefully underwritten about.
And just to reiterate as I did in Holly's post I have no judgment on anyone that uses any including weed, because there are people that can use it socially and have a life that they love even if they're in recovery with alcohol or other drugs.
I just know for me there's not and off switch when it comes to pot. So I do what I know to do to stay out of denial of that and work toward healing my relational trauma so that I can find soothing and connection with myself and other people versus substances.
I went right ahead and read your three-part piece on marijuana addiction. So poignant! And you're right, there aren't many stories about THC addiction and recovery (especially written by women, which are the voices I want to hear). I hope one day I'll have the courage to write my own. Thank you, this is important, your work is important.
excellent piece TS! your story resonated with me so much! what to do with the time...getting alcohol sober with HOME...i love(d) cannabis so much, its the withdrawal anxiety and panic when not using weed..this was my immediate thoughts re Holly's reveal.
Holly, your work (HOME podcast specifically) helped me get sober from marijuana addiction. I am forever grateful. One statement you wrote made me want to write here, “There’s a kind of limit on the type of acute damage you can do using pot”- I hope you never see what the depths of weed addiction can actually do to a life. I was locked in it for 22 years. You helped me climb out. I will never stop being grateful to you and most especially for your truth telling. I believe long term recovery is a true return to self, I honor your finding your way home to you. For anyone who might need it after reading this piece from Holly, I’ve written a three part piece on Marijuana Addiction, called “slow drain”. It’s on my Substack page.
Yeah that’s a tricky line and I meant it more in the overdose sense (I meant to contextualize it against using something like opioids again which is very different in terms of risk after a period of abstinence). I agree with your point and the insidious nature of cud which is qualitatively different and in its own ways (IMO!) more insidious than some other substances bc it’s “just pot” and now you can use it basically 24x7 in ever expanding delivery forms that disable you. I look forward to reading what you have and please feel free to link them here
Thanks for the invitation to do that. For any readers needing a voice on cannabis addiction- https://open.substack.com/pub/trasea/p/slow-drain-thoughts-on-marijuana?r=2ogm9u&utm_medium=ios
Really enjoyed what you've written. Thanks again for sharing it. (And it's written SO WELL.)
Thanks so much Tracey for such a powerful and vulnerable piece on marijuana addiction. I was 12 and a half years alcohol and THC sober when chronic nerve pain arrived in my . After trying many prescription meds without any relief I read an article in the Oprah magazine about how weed could be helpful for nerve pain.
Although I knew pot was something that was always a part of my pre-sober partying lifestyle, I reasoned that alcohol was really my main drug of choice and that giving pot a try for this unrelenting nerve pain was worth the risk. Although it did help with the nerve pain, I noticed pretty early on that I wanted to smoke even when I wasn't in pain. It then became a daily thing. Since pot seemed so benign compared to my alcohol addiction, I just continued to use and became a all day everyday smoker. The first month or so was fun in that I was getting the highs where you could really drop into that state of loving what you were seeing, hearing , tasting and feeling. But within a month or two the highs were very infrequent and pot just became something that I had to do all day everyday even though I really didn't get much out of it. I describe it as a slow-moving cancer. One thing I noticed right away was it robbed me of even an ounce of ambition. At the time I was starting to write my book "It's Not About Food, Drugs, or Alcohol: It's About Healing Complex PTSD" which is part Memoir part science-based research and part healing guide. Here's a link if you want to check it out.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTNRG3YM
I knew there was no way that my book would ever see the light of day if I continued smoking.
All I can say is I'm glad I finally found a way to quit and was able to publish my book and am really proud that I was able to do so.
In fact I write an entire chapter about my experience with chronic pain and my journey with medical marijuana in it.
As I responded to Holly's post, I really, like really wanted to be able to smoke recreationally and worked with harm reduction specialists to be able to do so without success.
Although the harm reduction practitioner I worked with did help me let go of a lot of my shame I had over my pot use and I was able to reduce the amount I was smoking, I still couldn't get anything done.
After about a year of daily use without even being able to get high, I fell into a depression and knew that this path was not going to be sustainable for me.
I ended up hearing about neurofeedback being a way to regulate my nervous system so I wouldn't feel compelled to use pot to do it.
Miraculously it really reduced my cravings and within a month I was able to quit with relative ease.
This experience proved to me that I was medicating a chronically dysregulated nervous system due to unhealed trauma.
I wish I could say that I have been free from marijuana addiction since but after the end of two long-term relationships I did end up getting back into smoking and thankfully have been able to quit.
Marijuana has been a very slippery slope for me. Interestingly when I used to drink I never smoked as much as I did as when I started using after 12 and a half years of being totally sober.
I do give myself a lot of space and compassion to be my perfectly imperfect self, yet I also recognize that if I want to have a life worth living I can't give myself a pass to blow my life up with pot or any other substance .
It's so sad to me that the myth that pot is not addictive and that it's relatively benign is so prevalent in our culture.
From the research I've done one in 10 people will develop a marijuana use disorder. Before I did the research for my book I had no idea how marijuana has pretty much the same risk in terms of addiction is alcohol. Although it's side effects are not nearly as destructive, in many ways this less destructive aspect is what makes it so Insidious keep people using it.
Although I really wish I could have become a social user, it's just not in the cards for me. It says if I don't have a off button when it comes to pot or alcohol. And just knowing that is really helpful.
So thank you for your wonderful article on a topic that is woefully underwritten about.
And just to reiterate as I did in Holly's post I have no judgment on anyone that uses any including weed, because there are people that can use it socially and have a life that they love even if they're in recovery with alcohol or other drugs.
I just know for me there's not and off switch when it comes to pot. So I do what I know to do to stay out of denial of that and work toward healing my relational trauma so that I can find soothing and connection with myself and other people versus substances.
Thank you so so much for sharing. Beautifully phrased, some of us just don't have an off switch with pot. So much respect and solidarity.
I went right ahead and read your three-part piece on marijuana addiction. So poignant! And you're right, there aren't many stories about THC addiction and recovery (especially written by women, which are the voices I want to hear). I hope one day I'll have the courage to write my own. Thank you, this is important, your work is important.
excellent piece TS! your story resonated with me so much! what to do with the time...getting alcohol sober with HOME...i love(d) cannabis so much, its the withdrawal anxiety and panic when not using weed..this was my immediate thoughts re Holly's reveal.
Thanks. Writing each piece helped me. Tho, the first one, revisiting the depth of my addiction, wasn’t super fun to write. Thanks for reading!