#9 Let's get medium

Mediocrity means you get to have fun?

I’ve always wanted to be the kind of writer who could sit down and bang out an essay or even a *simple communication* in an hour, and I’ve always ended up being the kind of writer who turns all those attempts into 10,000 word essays that she workshops between at least two equinoxes. Part of it is because I’m not a short-form writer—I write long-form and I love editing and the whole stupid horrible process. And, of course, part of it is because I’m a perfectionist.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, about how signing up to do this newsletter is signing up for something that is perpetual and relentless, a thing that I’d be worried about if (1) I didn’t love doing it and (2) I was under the impression that each week I had to turn out something better than the last, or that I would be judged based on how perfect each essay was, or that I had to hold myself to some incredible standard I don’t actually feel the need to hold myself to (as much) anymore.

Meaning, I’m not worried abou…