#74 Letting the wound work on us
+links +my new audiobook
Last week, my cat/best friend/only child Mary Katherine was diagnosed with a rare and progressively debilitating terminal disease. It’s called feline acromegaly—her body makes too much growth hormone. Days earlier she pooped on a new rug and in my fury over it I did the math that I’d have her for another 15 years, and as we rolled up the rug I told Jeremy “No more pets”, then two days later the math was twenty months and who cares about a fucking rug. Last week, my family talked about how much longer my mom will be able to walk for. Last week, I learned a person I love very much who is so good to so many is struggling and without a safety net and it is so unfair I can’t see straight. Last week, I could not stop crying.
A friend reminded me that everyone needs more than anyone can give right now, and I am trying to remember that. I am trying to remember it is so much harder to stand in the pain and the horror and the heartbreak than it is to try and fix it and make it go away. It is so …